Mix Magazine is Sharm’s foremost lifestyle advisor
in which I wrote a monthly column entitled

‘Going down on Mister Chad’

This was based, rather loosely, on diving - although
I did have a tendency to go off on tangents from time to time.

What would you call a lesser spotted tree warbler if you couldn’t hear it warble?
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Put a Yorkshireman in a suit and he can talk.
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A young lady crouching like a tiger against a backdrop of palm trees.
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They may say they have it all on film, but so did NASA.
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Cafe Del Mar, gin tonic and, last but not least, a mosquito net.
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Jump in my 4x4 V8 air conditioned gas guzzling jeep to travel 100 metres to the shops
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She shouldn’t worry, because all the little bubbles go to heaven.
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I seem to remember some Long Solid Diffusion pills back in the 60’s that even helped one to fly.
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Given that Venus had forsaken her furs and Uranus was blue
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He had no more than his naked desire to win and a lot of practise chasing camels.
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They enticed me with tales of ice cold murky fresh water
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What’s 150 feet long and 12 feet wide with a lump in the middle?
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I guess they just kiss a lot and hold hands because they’re cousins.
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Politicians with shares in drugs companies are running the Ministry of Health.
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It’s a kind of Business Class on acid.
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Old Sharm sank like the lost city of Atlantis in its own filth.
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Hairy vegetarian women mating with bankers on bicycles.
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They’re not necessarily all accountants.
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Promiscuous women who walk around with their hair uncovered are responsible for earthquakes.
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A pile of bills, a cold supper and the news that a headache has just come on.
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When approaching the altar of the turtle god one simply must mount steps.
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It was a tad bouncy in the Gulf of Aquaba that day.
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