Last month, this auspicious, informative and progressive publication produced an edition for women. A complete issue specifically targeting bra burning, women’s libbing, feminist readers. Is that fair? Is that not just a trifle discriminatory against us poor unappreciated menfolk? So what is it about sexual inequality that women don’t like? It’s not as if they have to sit inside with bags on their heads all day long doing what they’re told. All the women I know have the world at their feet. I wonder if it’s having doors held open for them, seats given up for them, their slightest whims catered for, being showered with presents and flowers or the fact that everything’s paid for that upsets them so? They can wind men around their little fingers with no more than a suggestive look and subtly control more power than we’d care to admit from behind, as well as in front of, the throne. Having grown up with two sisters, a Queen as monarch and Margaret Thatcher as Prime Minister, I’ve had plenty of first hand experience of how they work from the inside and I’d be happy to trade in my lot for that of a woman any day.

No more getting up at the crack of dawn, fighting the rush hour taxis to get to work, toiling over a hot compressor all day long, finally dragging my weary soul home of an evening only to be confronted with a pile of bills, a cold supper and the news that a headache has just come on. No. The new man would give the kids a bowl of cereal in the morning, (not to hard), pop into Makanis to pick up the packed lunch, (stressful but doable), before dropping the kids off at school and breakfasting with all the yummie mummies by the pool, ( all go – no respite ). When the sun gets too hot (or the gossip too boring), one could retire to the air conditioning of the bar, (rather than the hairdressers), to enjoy a spot of relaxation and refreshment. In the afternoon, after a quiet lunch with the sports channel, a bit of shopping would go down well, possibly followed by a swim or a sunbathe, before popping in to see a mate or two for a chat. The kids would already have disappeared to their friends’ for the afternoon so it’s a clear run until 6.

By now a sundowner would be in order, whilst pondering over whether to order pizza or Chinese takeaway. Dinner done, it’s kids off to bed and one things for sure – with that kind of hectic schedule behind me I certainly wouldn’t feel a headache coming on, whatever time of month it was. To top it all off, and this really is the icing on the cake, I wouldn’t even have to pay for anything! How hard is that ? So tell me. What do women need liberating from exactly?